I yearn for more. 2 lines is all I get. No more. No less. The words stop flowing like a river barricaded by fallen trees. I wait and cry out from inside, but no voice is uttered.
My heart aches for something new. “Hey, we haven’t talked in a long time.” Yes, we haven’t, but this chat is fleeting. Surely, I see it stop – dead silence on my screen.
No words can describe what I feel. My mind wishes to lash out and I feel the thumps and splashes inside like waves roaring in the high seas. The tide makes my mood sway. I have returned to virtual reality to free myself.
My character runs wild and free, unlike me. My character is eager to grow and explore, unlike me. I feel like time is years ahead. Is it true I am heading back like those seeking the power of time travel? No, don’t let it get to me.
No words. My legs have taken more steps than the words my mouth has ever spoken. I stay put. I stay still. I stay silent. At the supposedly joyous age of 23, I stand up and wonder. Is it going to get better? What is “it?” Who knows, I don’t know.
No words. My mind is fleeing my spoken words for they do not match. You see, I remain silent. I think deep inside. I crave silence. The boisterous chattering around me at times makes me uneasy.
My life, my reality, my virtual reality, my dreams and my thoughts are in combat. Who will win? I don’t know. Only the one knows.
My name spells from A – Z but I can’t keep up with that pace. It’s hard, but I’ll keep on trying.